Thursday, January 8, 2015

So You Want to Write Historical Fiction...

I haven't post something for the sake of humour in quite awhile, but my brain just so happened to hatch an idea! As I want to be a historical fiction writer myself, I read a lot of it (mostly Jean Plaidy, Alison Weir, and Susan Higginbotham). So allow me to off some tips to help any other aspiring authors! (of course, this is all in jest so uh, don't take me too seriously!)

 STEP ONE: choose a well-known historical heroine, and she has to have been considered beautiful, if she wasn't make her so.

STEP TWO: Come up with some slightly seductively sounding title like "The Other Boleyn Girl" or if you can't just come up with something plain like "The Tudor Wife".

STEP THREE: while writing said novel, make sure you don't check your facts. What do they matter anyway? It's your creative expression what so-called 'facts' should stand in your way! Course, you can facts when ya want to, but if they didn't fit your novel just throw 'em out the window. Philippa Gregory will be your best friend here!

STEP FOUR: Make sure to include some scenes that greatly describe your heroine's love life, in fact you can dedicate a whole chapter to it. No one needs to read about Katherine Howard's trial anyway, just skip to the good parts with Thomas Culpepper!

STEP FIVE: Historical speech is boring so make sure to have your characters talking like modern day people, more accessible that way eh?

STEP SIX: Now that your novel is complete, don't bother clarrifying with historical sources, just wing it and send it in the publishers. But do make sure to have a headless woman in a low-cut dress on the cover--that's majorly important.

STEP SEVEN: Congradulations! Due to the fact that the publishers want to make a lot of money they're publishing your book. Now you can relax in comfort while people all over the world believe your word as fact. Guess that makes you a historian now eh? Go market your book as factual.

Simple enough right? Of course, I'm just being satirical, now have a very Tudor-tastic day! :)

1 comment:

  1. Hi Emily, just came across your blog and I'm loving it! I just released my first histfic - I wish I'd found this earlier!